It’s been a hard week, my creative writing juices have escaped me. I have several fun themed posts I want to write but I haven’t been able to get them out of my head and onto paper. I know there is no pressure for me to write on the blog, but I want to, I want to write, I want to express my thoughts and tell my story. So here I am this morning…. Just being open and honest with all of you.
I wrote this on Tuesday in my notes on my phone while I was sitting by the pool waiting for my laundry to get done…. I’m more and more thankful for my washer and dryer that is IN my home and I don’t have to walk and wait till the cycles are finished. The one benefit is that my laundry gets done in an hour and that includes folding and putting away!
Here is what I wrote….
When there is beauty all around you, but your soul remains sad
When you see the goodness of Jesus, but your heart still is heavy
When you know He has plans for you, but you feel there is nothing to dream
When you can see the reflection of God’s amazing beauty all around you, but your eyes are void of life
When you are surrounded by people, but you still feel all alone
When you can look up at the mountains, know where your help comes from, but you feel like the climb is too hard to do
When you know, God has every minute of your day in His control, but the day seem long, and the nights even longer
It’s raw and when I read it again it feels so hopeless… I don’t want these feeling. I want to rejoice in the victory that we experienced last week…. I know I’m just exhausted mentally and emotionally from the battle. I want to see the beauty in full color all around me, I want to laugh and dance, I want to experience all that God has for me…. Just was reminded that I took a picture of a rainbow that I saw on Wednesday. It was chilly and rainy that day….. felt like a northern Indiana day. In the midst of the cold and rain… God showed me His colors through a rainbow!
I thank you all for continuing to pray for us! I know those prayers are sustaining me even on the down days. Kaden is coming this weekend and super excited to show him my world here and make good memories together.
Thanks for being raw where you are. In the sorrows and the victories He remains. I’ve been wearing my bracelet lately that has Exodus 14:14 “The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still.” May you feel Him fighting for you in the midst of this battle and rest in that. Love and miss you my friend.