Letting go bit by bit….

Encouragement, Family, Health, Special Needs

Letting go bit by bit….

Posted on November 2, 2013

It was June 2010; 2 years after Bryson had received the life changing diagnosis of Juvenile Diabetes. Along with the other special needs that Bryson had, Brad and I still wanted Bryson to experience summer camp. We found out about a Diabetes Camp for children held in North Webster and we decided this would be a great opportunity for Bryson to be around other kids with Diabetes. Bryson wasn’t truly excited about going but he agreed and plans were made for him to attend. To be really honest, I was looking forward to a break from 24/7 care of Bryson and his Diabetes. I had booked a flight to Alberta, Canada to spend time with my sister-in-laws while Bryson was at camp.

The Sunday afternoon arrived for us to deliver Bryson to camp and I started seeing fear in Bryson’s eyes as we were finalizing packing his stuff. He became angry and decided he was not going to camp. The next 2 hours were some of the most difficult with Bryson. During this stage of Bryson’s development he didn’t have control of his anger or behaviors and when he got angry you didn’t know when the kick might come or the push or hit. Brad and I tried to reason with him that it would be a great experience for him. I read the fear in his eyes and my mommy heart started to break, was this really what I should be doing to my son? Finally after about 2 hours and we were pushing the deadline for check in at the camp, Bryson finally calmed down and reluctantly got in the car and we made the 45 minute drive to camp.

Checking in and meeting his counselor went smoothly and Bryson seemed to have gotten to a reserved state of mind and was obedient and corporative in looking around the camp. We pulled the counselor aside and told him what had transpired at home and he said he would help with the transition and everything would be ok. We started walking out of the cabin and to meet up with the other campers in Bryson’s cabin and all of a sudden Bryson realized we were going to leave. I saw the wall build and I knew what was coming. The counselor immediately distracted Bryson and offered to go play basketball with him. I looked at Bryson and I told him, “you go play basketball for a while and we will be here.” Bryson reluctantly walked away and started to play. What we did next, as I type this still breaks my heart. We walked away and left him; with no goodbyes… we just left. The counselor knew what we were going to do and kept Bryson from turning to see us. WE LEFT HIM…

I cried the entire way home and sat in his room for the next several hours after returning home. My heart was wrenched with loneliness and thoughts of what have I done to my son? Will this scar him? Will he hate us for leaving? Will he be ok? Do they know how to take care of him? I have only cried such a deep heart cry like this several times in my life. Words can’t describe the heartbreak that I felt. But most of all, my baby that I was caregiver for was gone for a week, I had wanted this break but at that moment I realized how much my life was all about him and his care.

The camp called us that day and told us that he was fine and had adjusted well. I flew out the next morning for my vacation. I had a good time with my sister –in-laws but really as I looked back on this trip, I realized how much I was trying to run away from the hurt and acceptance of having a child with so many special needs. Running away wasn’t the answer but where I was in my journey to acceptance, this is all that I could do.

A little extra note… Bryson’s camp experience didn’t end very well, Thursday Brad got a call that Bryson had fallen at camp and so Brad had to go pick him up and sure enough Bryson had broken his right arm. When I got the call, my heart experienced all sorts of emotions. Here I was Bryson’s primary caregiver and I was thousands of miles away. Brad managed fine and it was another one of those defining moments.

So why have all these memories surfaced today? Well I had to let go a little bit more this weekend. Bryson is currently with the Maple City Chapel Youth group at their annual retreat. I originally wasn’t going to have him go, I knew it would take someone to be his one on one buddy and my hurts and pride thought “does anyone care to do this for Bryson?” I was humbled again by caring hearts as the youth pastor came and talked to me about Bryson going along. I told him my feelings and he immediately said that he would find someone to be that buddy for Bryson. All the details got worked out and because of the Fairfield football game Bryson needed to come later to the retreat. Another caring heart called me and offered for Bryson to travel down with her sons after the game. After the game as the Fairfield players were dealing with the tough loss, we waited around because I wanted to make sure that Bryson was paired up with the boys taking him before we left.

Emotions surfaced again for me, I was letting go of Bryson, letting him drive 45 minutes away with 3 other teenage boys to a youth camp for 2 days, really? As Bryson walked off the field with one of the players and I walked to the vehicle, memories of walking away 3 years ago rose in my chest. This is a totally different situation, Bryson was excited about going… but I had to let go a bit more.

Bryson had been on my mind a lot today, I’m thinking about what his blood sugars are? How he handled the overnight accommodations, is he fitting in? Worried he might have a seizure. But God is telling me as I write, I have to let go……. Yes, Bryson has limitations and is different in a lot of ways but my trying to protect him is not going to accomplish anything. I think I ultimately never thought Bryson would be able to have experiences like these, I think I need to have an attitude adjustment and open my mind up to all the possibilities that my powerful and amazing God has for Bryson and just trust HE will provide for ALL of Bryson’s needs!!!

Letting go is good but boy is it tough……

Encouragement, Life Coaching

Tests

Posted on September 5, 2013

So when you think or see the word TEST what comes to your mind? For me, it is flashbacks to my school days full of high anxiety and stress. I was a shy, overweight child and suffered from low self esteem. But at an early age I realized that I just might have some smarts in my brain. So I piled all my worth into school and grades. All through my school days, I drove my family crazy, especially on nights before a test. I made them quiz me, I poured over my notes, memorizing every detail, every fact. Yes, all of it paid off and I got the marks I wanted but with it came a stomach ulcer when I was 16 years old. Tests were not my friend and I shiver when I think of taking a test today.

I am currently taking Stress Management as one of my Life Coaching classes. I am learning a lot about what stress does to the body and ways to manage it. The instructor made a statement this past week that has stuck in my head and is the thought behind this blog post, “there is no testimony without a test.” As you have discovered my feelings about tests, I have mulled over in my brain the tests I have taken not in the school classroom but in the classroom of life. Life tests that have pushed me beyond where I thought I could go.

Let me name some of my tests: growing up with a special needs aunt; being overweight and insecure; losing my father; coping with being a special needs parent; Brad’s work accident; Brad’s lung surgery; Bryson’s Type 1 Diabetes diagnosis. These have been some of the BIG tests in my life. There have been a lot of smaller tests too.

As I think about these tests, I shiver about some of them too. I didn’t like these tests! The difference with these tests then the tests at school, (except for the pop quizzes) I didn’t have time to study and prepare, they just happened many without warning. So what am I to do with these tests? I am learning that these tests are what have shaped me into who I am today, they have become my testimony. I am realizing that just as each of the tests that we had to take in school were to measure progress, each of my life tests have been to measure my faith in God, my love for family and my values. These tests have given me my purpose, my passion and a voice to encourage and help others.

Tests can be hard and they can be life changing, I encourage you to reflect on the tests that you have experienced in your life and see how God can use them and your testimony for His glory. If you would like some accountability in discovering the purpose and plan God has for you, contact me at lisa@lisajplett.com.

Encouragement, Special Needs

Emotions in my heart

Posted on September 2, 2013

I have been a basket of mixed emotions this past week as I have watched my son Bryson, be embraced by the Fairfield Football team and coaches. This is Bryson’s third year of managing, so it isn’t a new thing but it is different because as a 9^th grader, he has been thrust into the “big leagues” of high school football.

Listening to his nonstop talk about where the next game is to be played and analyzing if the team is ready to win is interesting but also exhausting. Bryson is a BIG dreamer, he has shared how he wants to lead the Fairfield Varsity team out onto the field when they get to the State finals at Lucas Oil Stadium. He also dreams of coaching the Colts some day. He doesn’t think small, he believes all things are possible. This quality has and will take him far but we, as his parents, have had many situations in his first 15 years where we have had to squash his dreams and tell him No, that isn’t possible for him and helped him to refocus his dreams. Just one example of refocusing has been from playing football to managing football.

This is why my heart swells with gratitude for the Fairfield football team and coaches, as he has started his high school managing career. I have not had to squash his dream about wanting to work with Coach Miller or his excitement about being on the sidelines on Friday nights. This dream is coming true and in ways that bring tears to my eyes. Caring parents and coaches who are making sure he gets what he needs and feels apart of the program. A coach who has just started getting to know Bryson, notices his love for Notre Dame football and gives him two tickets to the home opener. Giving him the task at the varsity game of taking water to the refs during the game, those acts of giving and including are what Bryson’s dreams are made of, chances and opportunities.

My heart is full of emotions. As a mother you only want the best chances and opportunities for your child. But when you have a child with special needs, it looks different. When you know that his opportunities are limited, the little things are what really matter. Over the years I have allowed my heart to harden in trusting people to give my boy a chance, an opportunity. Time and time again I have been humbled at the kindness and love Bryson has received. So why do I continue to doubt? As I sit here and ponder that question, I’m not really sure of the answer. Maybe it is just the protective mother’s heart, willing to jump and attack anyone who just might hurt their child. I don’t know but with tears falling down my cheeks, I do know that I can let my heart soften, that I can trust because I know I have seen with my own eyes people loving, giving and embracing my son just as he is. Maybe that is all I really want anyway, I want people to see the value in my son, even though he can’t play the game or he won’t get a high school diploma. Each child has been placed on this earth for a purpose and plan by our Heavenly Father and I know and believe that through the kindness of family, friends, coaches, teachers and classmates, that Bryson will discover what his purpose here is and that makes this mom’s heart swell with gratitude to all who are helping shape him and who love him just for who he is. Thank you.

Family

10 years Ago

Posted on August 25, 2013

Ten years ago today, August 25, I received a call that no wife wants to get “your husband has been in an accident.” I was rocking my 3 month old son Kaden at the time and my first words were “is he OK?” The president of our company was the one who called and reassured me that Brad was talking and that the ambulance had arrived.

As I think back to the moments following that phone call, they were one of panic but also of shock. I called my mom to come stay with the kids and I headed out to the hospital. I arrived before the ambulance, which did nothing for my heart. I can vividly remember sitting in the waiting room so scared and overwhelmed, I did not have any idea what his injuries were.

Brad had been involved in a ditch cave in at a job site. He suffered a broken pelvis, bruised tailbone and a torn urethra. Brad was in a lot of pain when I first came back to his room in the ER. He had been to x-ray already and we knew about the broken bones, but we did not know about the urethra problem until about 10:00 that evening when the doctor asked for a urine sample. When we saw the blood in his urine, I recall the exchange of fear that went between us. That was the first time I saw how scared Brad was and it about broke me. Thankfully the doctors were immediate with their response and he was taken off for emergency surgery to put in a Suprapublic catheter to redirect the urine. We didn’t realize till later how major this problem really was and Brad could have died if this would not have been caught.

Brad was in a hospital bed for 6 weeks in our living room. There were many doctor appointments and therapies during that time. Brad remained strong in spite of the pain. There were times when he didn’t listen very well either. He was cautioned not to do steps several weeks after the accident but one afternoon I found him sitting in the van in the garage. He had gotten there himself with his walker and he said “I’m here now, take me to Dairy Queen.” That determination was a big part in his recovery and healing.

Brad had to wait until his urethra’s bruising was healed before he could have surgery to repair it. This did not happen till December 4 at the University of Chicago. We were so excited the following February that everything had healed correctly and the catheter could be removed.

In reflecting over the months after the accident, I sometimes can’t fathom how I survived. I had a 5 year old son with special needs, a 3 year old and a 3 month old. I am so grateful for the amazing friends and family who came and helped out during the recovery time. I want to thank my Heavenly Father for sparing Brad’s life and for extending His arm of peace and love. I know He carried me through this entire time. I am so thankful for Brad and the wonderful husband and loving father that he is today. I love you Brad!

Encouragement

Psalm 119

Posted on August 22, 2013

Psalm 119 is a lengthy chapter is the Bible. The writer is anonymous, but I believe as he was writing, he was pondering several questions, what does God asks me to do and what do I need of God? I believe God, through the writer wanted us to know the answers to these questions. I took some time awhile back to dissect the chapter. Here are my findings from this passage.

What does God asks me to do?

God asks me to follow His instructions, search for Him with all my heart, obey and hide His Word. He asks me to study, reflect, meditate, understand His Word and not forget. He wants me to praise, rejoice, delight, cling and pursue. I need to understand I was chosen to be His. Remain faithful and to put His Word into practice. I need to walk with eagerness, longing to obey and speak with delight of His honor and love for me. He wants me not to turn away but promise to obey, to hurry and rise and thank Him with belief and delight and put all my HOPE in Him. In my meditating continually and always thinking about Him to accept, stand in awe, see the truth and find joy in my longing for Him. He wants me to pant with expectation, feel overwhelmed as I cry out to Him as I rise early and stay awake thinking and praising and rejoicing that I have chosen to follow Him and praise will always flow from my mouth and my tongue will sing.

What I need God to do?

I want Him to open my eyes, teach me, give me understanding and turn my eyes from evil. I need Him to reassure me and renew my life. I ask Him to comfort me and be merciful, but also to discipline me. I want Him to promise me, surround me, protect me, rescue me, sustain me and restore my life. God don’t leave me, guarantee a blessing for me, deal with me, come and show me. Help me to understand your Word, guide my steps. Oh God, hear my cry, argue my case, take my side, protect my life and give back the life I lost. Listen to my prayers and teach me with a helping hand. Find me God!

I see myself asking God for these things often and I am humbled knowing that He will do all of them for me. It is what He does out of His love for me. As I read these it makes me want to make sure that I do the things He asks of me with more passion and purpose.

There were other words that I took out of this chapter that could be turned into a mission statement for my life.

I want to live with joy and integrity, not be ashamed, living as I should a foreigner in this land. My desire is to always be overwhelmed with the happiness and hope that I have found in You and Your Word. You are my only hope, you have done many good things, you have died for me and I want to be your servant. Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path. You are a refuge and my shield. I believe all your commands are true and I stand forever with great peace because You are my delight.

Encouragement

So the Lord must wait for you…

Posted on August 19, 2013

I have Isaiah 30:18 highlighted in pink in my Bible and this morning it leaped out at me especially the first part. “So the Lord must wait for you to come to Him..” It reminded me that God is always present but that He is waiting for me to make the move. It isn’t HE that has grown distant but me if I don’t feel Him. The second part of the verse is what I long for from my Heavenly Father “so He can show you His love and compassion.”

What a convicting and humbling reminder that I am in charge of my relationship with God, He wants a close connection more than I can imagine and He is ALWAYS there, He is just waiting for me to come. What have I let get in the way?

God, forgive me for making you wait, I come to you now with my praise and thanksgiving for being a God of love and compassion. You have showered me with blessings to many to name. Thank you for your patience with me, your child.

Has anyone else kept God waiting lately? He has a lot of love and compassion just waiting for you.

Life Coaching

Something New

Posted on June 12, 2013

It has been a long time since I wrote but even though I wasn’t writing here I was still writing words, just at another place. I have spend the last 3 months taking online classes at Light University to be a Christian Life Coach. What a great experience. I was very nervous when I started because I had not applied my brain to school work in over 20 years. It was challenging and encouraging with so much information. I am taking 2 months off over the summer and then want to take a few more electives this fall.

So what is a Christian Life Coach? My definition is a Christian Life Coach helps someone get a better understanding of who they are and the call that God has for their life. This is someone who is looking for accountability and support. Someone who has passions, dreams and goals for the future but is in need of tools and guidance to achieve them or is just STUCK. A life coach provides these tools and resources and holds them accountable. A Christian life coach can apply biblical principles and listen for the voice of God for direction and clarity.

The last class I took was called Hope Coaching. The emphasis was how to walk along side someone who is dealing with tough circumstances in life. It was very encouraging to me as I was able to apply it to my own life and some of the difficult things I have walked through in the past and currently experiencing.

To get my certification I need one year of experience with coaching activities. I am just in the starting stages and getting together my resources and tools. My goal is to start working with some clients in the next few months.

If you are interested in learning more about life coaching, please email me at plett.five@gmail.com or leave me a comment. I am so excited to see how God is going to work in and through me in this new venture.

Uncategorized

Message in a Dream

Posted on February 26, 2013

I dream often in my sleep, sometimes I remember a lot of details other times it is all vague. Last night I had the type that I remembered. It seemed to be a bit on the crazy end of things and so I dismissed it from my mind when I got out of bed. But when I started getting dressed for the day about an hour later, bits and pieces started floating through my head and I just felt a sense that God had a message for me in it.

The dream started with Brad and I planning a 20^th anniversary party, (which is still over a year away) and it was planned down at some church in Kokomo. Why there??? The day of the party Brad asks me to go motorcycle riding with him. OK, this is where the craziness begins, I DON’T RIDE MOTORCYCLES! I am afraid of them, my best idea would be to never get on one of them. Second, Brad doesn’t own a motorcycle. Anyway, back to the dream. We head off for a ride and we are driving here and there, there was no rhyme and reason to our route. Then all of a sudden I recall what day and time it is and start going crazy about I never ordered the cake, I didn’t get any decorations together, and not even sure if I planned the food. I also realized that it was 12:30 and the party was supposed to start at 1:00 and we were nowhere near the church in Kokomo. Actually in my dream I realized I had no idea where the place even was that this party was suppose to be. I became frustrated with Brad for “making” me go on this ride with him when He knew what day it was. My mind started going to all the people who would be expecting food and a nice party since that is what I am good at putting together. In my dream I saw the first people arrive and I saw the disappointment on their faces and then the dream ended.

So what message did God have for me through this dream? It was a simple message, He simply said “Lisa you need to lay down your fears of the unknown, you need to lay down your people pleasing, rule following and perfectionist ways and you need to just ride with ME!”

So what message is God trying to deliver to you, are you willing to listen? I do, I want to learn to always say YES when God asks me to ride!

Uncategorized

Sonshine

Posted on February 1, 2013

My boys have a Boxer named Roxie; she is almost 2 years old and has found her way deep into the hearts of all of us in the family. She is an outside dog, but likes to find ways to sneak in and cuddle with someone on the couch. Today when I was coming home from some errands around town, I found her laying on the front porch in the sunshine. My first thought was “Roxie it is way to cold to be outside why are you not in the garage?” My mind started turning and my conclusion was that she feels the warmth of the sun and that is way better than a closed grey garage.

How many times have I chosen to stay in a safe place instead of out in the Sonshine? My answer is not what I am very proud of, I too often let my fears take charge and I find myself still in the house instead of out in the Sonshine with Him. My mind knows the truth, it knows that anywhere with Him there is joy, grace, love and WARMTH, but sometimes my heart has a hard time believing and it tells me that a warm house with a blanket is the place to stay.

When I look outside today the sky is blue, the sun is shining bright, even when the temperature says it is really cold out there. I need to always remember to keep my focus looking UP and on the SON because no matter what anyone else says, HE IS THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN PROVIDE THE WARMTH THAT I NEED!

Uncategorized

BABY IT’S COLD OUTSIDE

Posted on January 24, 2013

Indiana has been experiencing some cold weather the past several days. It has chilled me to the bone, since I am not a big fan of winter. While taking my boys to school this morning Ty checked the weather on my iPhone as the temperature on the Envoy read 3 degrees, he stated that it was -34 with -41 wind chill where Grandpa and Grandma live in Manitoba, Canada. Wow, that sent a shiver through me. So what is cold? All about perspective and what we get used too. It brought up memories of the times we were in Manitoba over Christmas with these temps and you still went about your normal business just with a little more urgency when you were outside. The truth is that it is cold but we have to realize that to others this temp would feel good. I told my boys that we probably should not tell our Canadian relatives we had 2 hour delays the past several days for cold. They would probably chuckle. But for us who are not used to it, it was the right decision.

This concept applies to circumstances too. We have things come up in our lives that seem big and overwhelming, but in light of what others are going through it might appear small to them. An example is Bryson’s broken toe this week. In light of all of his other issues, a broken toe is quite trivial and to the many people who are on my prayer list who are dealing with BIG, TOUGH stuff, it’s just a toe!! I had to keep reminding myself of this on Tuesday when I was taking him to the doctor and for x-rays. I found myself having a pity party for myself and grumbling about another bump along his journey. But I realized I can’t stay in that place. We all will experience circumstances in our life but compared to the bigger picture it isn’t something to get depressed over. Yes, I have to recognize that it is a bump but not stay in that place of pity but realize God’s provision and grace. Thankfully it wasn’t anything worse, it was just a TOE.