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Roller Coaster Ride

I have only been on a roller coaster one time in my life, when I was very young.  It wasn’t a very good experience.  My stomach tossed and turned and I “threw up” all of my lunch.  I decided then that roller coasters were not for me. 

I have been on a lot of emotional roller coasters over the last 14 years and yesterday was one of those days again.  I keep hoping that I am stronger in the truth to not get on one of them but…..

On Wednesday, I took Bryson to see his Endocrinologist for his three month Diabetes checkup and even though he had been having a lot of lows in the past month the doctor  was very happy with his A1C and his overall health.  She changed some of his basal rates on his insulin pump and I drove home thanking God that everything was looking really good and stable and even his seizures have been controlled since February. 

I got a call at 12:48 p.m. yesterday from the school nurse, she told me that Bryson had experienced the weird sensation in his right side and had kind of fallen into his chair.  He was in her office and was OK but very tired.  My mind started rolling all different directions, “no not seizures again” “I just thanked you God that everything was good” “I can’t deal with this”  “it’s not fair”. All those thoughts tumbled around in my brain and settled in my heart. 

This sensation is what Bryson feels before a seizure comes on, called an aura.  The only way we know if it is a seizure or just an aura is how he responds after the episode.  All evidence says it was a seizure.  Bryson was very tired and spaced out and his blood sugar skyrocketed and he got large Ketones (a condition that left untreated can lead to a life threatening emergency).  So after realizing this was going on and having just gotten my stitches out of my hand from carpal tunnel surgery a week prior, my emotions were in a full whirlwind, flying around curves and plummeting downward and upside down.  I “threw up” in my brain. 

I send out a text to a few close friends for prayer and I believe God answered with urgency.  My emotions started landing on solid truth and I was able to process.  Bryson’s blood sugar and ketones came back to normal faster then usual.  My mind has been processing all of the events from yesterday and I realize how fast I can let my emotions control every aspect of my life.  I am so thankful for faithful friends and for a loving God who hears and restores the peace I so needed. 

Now we just have to wait to see if this seizure was just a “one time” episode or if we are back on the seizure train.  I am trying really hard to focus on God’s word that He has it all in control and to just stay on the firm foundation of His Word and not get on another emotional roller coaster ride.

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Getting Dressed

Have you ever counted the products that you use to get dressed in the morning?  From the washcloth, soap, hair products, face products, make up, deodorant, perfume, toothbrush, the list could go on and on.  I counted mine and the count is close to 30.  Wow, it takes 30 products and about 30 minutes for me to get myself prepared in the morning.  Last week God prompted my spirit when I was getting ready as to how much time and energy I put into my physical well being and challenged me about how much time I spend getting ready spiritually, mentally and emotionally in the morning.  Which is really the most important? 

I only need one product to get ready spiritually in the morning, my Bible.  God has provided one powerful source of wisdom, encouragement in ONE BOOK.  But do I take time to “get dressed” with it in the morning?  Do I spend 30 minutes reading, listening, praying so that I am prepared to handle whatever comes my way that day? 

These are challenging thoughts that have been tumbling around in my head this past week.  My desire is to put on the whole Armor of God daily, so I can stand firm in His power. 

Ephesians 6:10-17 (NLT) The Whole Armor of God
10 A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. 12 For we[a] are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. 14 Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. 15 For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared.[b] 16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.[c] 17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

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It takes courage!

This is not my first blog post, that happened several years ago at pluggedinwithlife.blogspot.com.  That blog is still there but I have not been actively writing.  Instead I have been hiding out in my office at home with a desire to start writing again but realizing that I am afraid.  God has gently been reminding me in the past few days about my insecurities and fears and how staying in that place doesn’t let my trust in Him show or grow.  So here I am at the start of something new and it is taking a lot of courage on my part.  My desire is to write daily, sharing my joys, failures and fears.  As my tag line states, sharing joy, encouragement and unconditional love in service to others.  So I welcome you to journey with me as I courageously step out trusting in my Heavenly Father to give me the words to say and that as I do this, my trust in Him will show and grow.