I have been home for eight days and have hit the ground running full speed ahead. I have gone to a funeral in Louisville, ate supper with Stevan in Louisville, had a doctor’s appointment in Ohio, attended a wedding and helped serve soft serve ice cream at a graduation open house. Those were just the big events!
It’s been a mixed bag of emotions….
The intense hugs of my friends have been emotional.
Sitting on the back porch with Brad, Ty and Kaden brought joy and contentment to my soul.
Lunch dates with best friends have been healing.
Seeing the kitchen island bare of medicine brings tears to my eyes.
Going to the store and seeing the items I always bought for Bryson sends a pain to my heart.
Realizing the responsibility of emptying the dishwasher falls back to me makes me groan.
My mind telling me I have to go pick up Bryson from work at 3; then realizing that is no more… that thought hit hard.
I don’t feel settled at home yet! The house had missed my TLC over the last 8 months and I’m working on bringing it up to MY standards! Rizzo and Gus, I think, are glad that I am home. My alarm clock on Sunday morning was Gus biting on my toes!
I miss the palm trees, bright blue skies, cactus, hundreds of choices of restaurants and my favorite shopping places within minutes.
I think Elkhart County roads are too narrow, there are too many potholes and trains.
Friends keep telling me to give myself time…. time…. that word again, in this instance, it’s not a time of waiting, but time to adjust, time to grieve, time to discover what’s next. We are still waiting for the appeals hearing for Bryson’s placement, but I know that is in good hands with our lawyer.
It’s been hard, God is faithful… that is where I will place my heart and let Him carry me.
