In my mind, distractions are negative. I find myself when life is hard, scrolling my phone, binging TV, eating, and even reading.
This past week distractions have been positive. With the hard news that I received last Friday, I needed distractions, God knew I would need them and the timing of my SIL Bev coming was a gift.
We had an adventuresome week. I was a tour guide and took her to some of my favorite places. We also explored several new places that we could mark down as FIRSTS for both of us. We shopped and eaten lots of ice cream.
Kaden and my two nephews Tucker and Jake also were here part of the week and adding three young men to a household, that’s a good distraction. They left Wednesday, for a weeklong venture to numerous national parks in Arizona and Utah.
Today is one week since I read the words “denied”. I haven’t been able to start our official appeal again but there has been God sightings in this journey and movement.
We will be moving Bryson into his new home next Thursday on private pay while we fight. It’s the transition that we have been waiting for these last 7 months… it is what I have needed and wanted but…. NOW I truly must face it and the idea of letting go… that’s for a whole new post. My anxiety is high.
Bryson attended a recreational day program yesterday for half a day. He will be attending this part time and will eventually be getting a job also. He was nervous, I was nervous. It was ok… adjustments, transition, newness, all scary things.
I am waiting for several return calls from two advocates and lawyers who I spoke to before I did the initial appeal and they had said they would help if I needed them down the road.
The agency that I am working with has been fantastic and they have some information that will be helpful in our fight.
I have learned that DDD (the entity that I am fighting) can be a bully, tough and unfair. They want you to give in, they only see the paperwork and the diagnosis, not the person behind the paperwork.
I don’t understand; I’ve questioned God; I’ve also felt prayed for and carried by all my warriors…. THANK YOU!
God has brought songs on the radio to bring me comfort; friends have sent encouraging songs and verses.
We will move forward with COURAGE and FAITH, leaning strong on the promises of God.
Kaden, he is my baby, he might not like me calling him that, but I think he knows he has me wrapped around his finger.
Kaden, he is a warrior, the definition of warrior is a person engaged or experienced in warfare; a person who shows or has shown great vigor, courage, or aggressiveness. Let me explain why….
In March 2021 after a stressful year with Covid, school and normal teenage life, he started not feeling well, tired all the time and suffering from all over body aches. I started with the family physician taking lab work. Everything came back OK, and the doctor figured it was stress and anxiety due to senior year and all the things that come with that time of your life. Kaden graduated in the top 10 of his class and survived having to give a speech and school was done, but his fatigue and body aches continued. Our next stop was a chiropractor. He checked him over and agreed that his muscles were tight but figured it probably was just stress and anxiety and told him practical ways to deal with that.
Kaden headed off to Indiana Wesleyan the end of August for his freshman year of college. On move in day, his roommate’s mom, who is a physical therapist, did a brief evaluation on movements and strength in his arms and legs. She suggested we check in with an orthopedic doctor. When Kaden was home for fall break, we went and saw an orthopedic doctor. Kaden had tendinitis in his elbow, doing his senior season of tennis and had gotten physical therapy for that so we went back to the same doctor to see what she thought about his aches. She did see that his shoulders and neck were tight and prescribed physical therapy again, but also thought it was probably the stress and anxiety of college.
There we were three doctor’s opinions all saying stress and anxiety, I knew that both of these were present in his life, but this mama knew that there was more.
Freshman year of college is always tough, Kaden had a hard semester with the normal stresses, and continued with fatigue and body aches. He pushed through, continued to work out and study hard to get good grades, and he made it through the first semester.
I still needed answers, several of my friends suggested we test him for Lyme disease. After getting a few very God ordained connections, I got the name of a doctor near Indianapolis who specialized in Lyme and other tick borne diseases. We got an appointment for the end of January 2022. We met with her; she was amazing. Her and her husband had started this practice when some family members had gotten Lyme and discovered how much the medical field does not believe in Lyme and so they started their own practice. She took lots and lots of bloodwork and sent it off to California to the main lab that deals with tickborne diseases. On February 25, 2022, almost a year after he started not feeling well, Kaden was diagnosed with Lyme Disease, Bartonella (another tick borne disease) and Epstein Barr virus (the mono virus) Thankfully we finally had answers but finding the right treatment was the next hard part. He started on numerous antibiotics and natural supplements.
He completed his freshman year and came home for the summer. His body was exhausted and he started working but half way through the summer, he needed to quit to give his body time to rest. This was very hard on Kaden, he is a worker and didn’t want to be viewed as lazy. This started taxing him mentally. I started researching chronic illness and mental health. These two are so intertwined. We saw the doctor at the end of August before Kaden returned to college and we had his labs done again. We both were very discouraged by this time because he had been on and off many different meds and supplements since February with no relief or improvement. Lab results came back with some good and bad news. His Lyme and Bartonella markers were better and showed improvement but a third tick borne disease had reared his ugly head, Babesiosis. Babesia is tick driven but it is different then Lyme. This one attacks the red blood cells and acts a lot like Malaria. The labs also showed that his Epstein Barr virus was higher than the last time. I was so upset and questioned God, “why something else?” The doctor switched up medications again to try a different approach.
The last three months have been very hard on Kaden mentally and emotionally. On the outside he looks good and full of life, but he lives in a continual state of fatigue and body aches. He is trying to live the college life style but late nights and lots of activity taxes his body and the toll has been cruel. I’m so grateful for IWU providing him with counseling and disability benefits for his school work load. I told him that he can come home, that his physical, mental and emotional health is more important than school. He sent me this “putting mental health before my education is a great idea until it affects my education which affects my mental health which effects my education.” Living with chronic illness is a lose lose situation.
Kaden came out to see me this past weekend, he needed a mental health break from school and we needed time together. It refreshed both of our souls. Kaden loves to hike and climb up whatever rock formation he can. He was tired but he wanted to climb….he did short little climbs.. I saw the benefit on his mental health by his smile, but I saw what it cost him as he dropped into the car and just crashed with exhaustion.
This is why my son is a warrior…. he is engaging in warfare against tick borne and Epstein Barr…they are trying to take him out. His determination to not let it beat him shows his courage and vigor for the battle, but some days it feels too hard and sends him crashing mentally and emotionally. He continues to seek God for his strength and I continue to battle with him spiritually, emotionally and mentally until we together through God’s power will win this battle.
Will you join me in prayer that Kaden can see a victory over these diseases and we can give God all the Glory for what He has done.
Last night we went out to eat as a family to celebrate Brad’s birthday. As we were waiting for our food, I asked my boys if they realized how spoiled they were. They responded with yes they knew and right away one of them said, “Stephen probably never has been able to go to a restaurant like this.” We went on to talk about all the things that Stephen probably has not done and all the new things that we will need to teach him.
I have been thinking about this conversation and a lot has been going through my brain. What are the reasons why Stephen would want to be adopted? He probably is unaware of the many 1st World opportunities that he does not even know what all will be available to him, so is it just for LOVE? The love of a family? I know what I want to offer him, I want to offer him love, family, hope, education, dreams, purpose and a lot of STUFF!! I want to give him a nice room, his own bicycle, electronics and the list can go on and on of stuff that I think he might want or need. Yes all of these things seem important to us because it is what we KNOW but what is going to be most important when Stephen comes home? Our total love and acceptance; because as we give him these he will then be able to know and understand God’s love for him.
I am feeling convicted in my relationship with God. Why do I want to be adopted into God’s family? Is it just for love or do I think and demand stuff from God? Is my relationship with God strong to the point that His love and acceptance of me just as I am is ENOUGH? What if my prayers are not answered and life is hard and painful and I’m not getting all the STUFF that I want, is HIS LOVE enough?
We are living in a society where we have access to so much stuff that I think we become spoiled and bogged down with trivial things and lose out on the meaning that God so intended for His children. He has adopted all of us into His family out of His incredible LOVE for us PERIOD! That’s all folks, God desires a relationship with me and He offers me that LOVE freely, no strings attached and I get a BIG FAMILY of other Christ Lovers with it too!
So as I put myself in Stephen’s shoes as an orphan with NOTHING to my name and Jesus came and said “LET ME LOVE YOU, I’m not promising you riches, glory or stuff, JUST LOVE” Would I still say YES? My head screams YES OF COURSE, but my heart says I need a bit more work done, I need to lay down my expectations and IDEALS and just take God at HIS Word…. I LOVE YOU LISA and that is ENOUGH!
This weekend has been full of messages to me about Looking UP. It started with a video on Facebook about not to just be looking down and on our phones but to look up and make eye to eye contact with people and to connect. An amazing conference that stressed the importance of saying YES to God and then living with adoration for HIM and letting Him lead me. Another message was from a sister in the church who shared about how she saw herself entering the throne room of God but she was looking down in shame instead of up and into God’s eyes. Through a great word from the pulpit at church. At lunch with a friend she shared her desire to connect with other women. So what is God trying to tell me?
I realized that I live my life to much looking down at my circumstances, with fear and not spending enough time looking up and receiving the power of the Holy Spirit. Even during worship yesterday as I had my head bowed but my hands up I thought this pose doesn’t seem right. If I am living in pure adoration of my God I need to be looking up!
When we look up we see others and in seeing others we need to be compelled to connect, help, LOVE. When we look up we are not hiding behind our fears and pain we are looking up to grab a hold of new life and HOPE. Confession, sometimes when I am out in public and someone is approaching me coming the other way, I want to just put my head down and not make that eye to eye contact, WHY? I’m not sure, but maybe I’m afraid of seeing the other person and realizing we are kindred spirits that I need to reach out to, if only with a Hi or maybe a whispered prayer for them.
So this week my plan and desire is to LOOK UP, go through my days with my chin up and my eyes searching for all that God has from me. Right now I am looking out my window and just in looking up from this computer I see God speaking to me through the budding trees of new life. New life that He is promising me as I learn to LOOK UP into HIS eyes and the eyes of the WORLD. I can make a difference for HIM by just keeping my eyes looking UP to the Cross and HIS amazing LOVE for me.
God has revealed Himself to me in so many miraculous ways during this adoption journey so far. I have been brought to tears by words from others as they revealed what God had placed on their hearts for me. I have felt a deep peace the last several weeks and I can say “I’m living with my hands up!” I BELIEVE that He is going to do even more amazing things than I could ever imagine through and in this adoption….. but then today as I drove to school to pick up Bryson, the third day in a row, because he had a seizure again, a wrestling match started up in my brain. God WHY seizures again? God I asked for healing for Bryson, I’ve asked A LOT over the years, WHY? Then I heard the thoughts in my head say “can you really bring Stephen home soon, if you can’t heal Bryson?” The wrestling went back and forth, I recalled many miracles that God had performed on Bryson’s behalf; but he is having seizures again! I have grown so much in my faith because of Bryson’s life; but he is having seizures again! WHY?? Will you perform a miracle God for this adoption? I think my hands have been up God, I’ve been trusting, but WHY does Bryson have to struggle again?
I felt my hands lower a bit when Bryson told me that he didn’t make these seizures happen. I reassured him I knew it wasn’t anything that he did. My heart breaks for him as he is trying to understand what is going on in his body. He told me he thinks that they just need to up his meds. I agreed and told him we will get things figured out and I am sorry he had to miss track practice again. OK God WHY?
Truth screams at me and I KNOW that God will work all things out! I KNOW that God is in the miracle business in Bryson’s life and Stephen’s life. But right now my hands are a bit weary, is it easier to just grab a hold of the bar of worry? I don’t want to go there, I want to lift my hands back up fully and totally dependent on God, but tonight I am tired.
As I reflect back on the past year, I can clearly see God’s hand in it all. He has moved, shaken, blessed and surprised me. It has brought me to a place of full dependency in some areas and a place of awe in others. What seemed like different paths He had me on, I can see clearly now, His hand weaving all these paths together for one amazing adventure.
Let me bring you onboard my adventure. In March, 2013 I started online classes at Light University Online to become a Christian Life Coach. I completed my classes in November of 2013 to receive an Advanced Diploma in Life Coaching. At first this was a scary thing for me because I had not applied my mind to education in 20 years. But I fell in love with the learning and the classes. My main three electives were Hope Coaching, Stress Management and Spiritual Formation. I’m just now slowly getting my coaching practice started.
In June, Ty and I ventured on a mission trip to Jamaica with 8 other people, mostly Brad’s family members. This was an amazing time of discovery and heartbreak for me and it was an eye opening experience for Ty. I will always remember the mother/son bonding that happened those 11 days. I just thought I was on a mission trip; well God had bigger plans in store……….. (Just hang on; I’ll get back to this.)
The years of 2011 and 2012 were very difficult for my health, I was dealing with Fibromyalgia like symptoms, I ached all over and was exhausted all the time. I went through a battery of tests and discovered nothing. Finally in January 2013, I had my food allergies taken and it showed I was allergic to 19 foods (it included all the normal foods I ate) I went into a mild depression and didn’t see how I could eliminate those foods from my diet. Then I discovered Isagenix, a nutritional cleansing system that provides your body the nutrition it needs for optimum health. I started it in August, and immediately started feeling better and I have lost a total of 40 pounds already. I got my health and my life back.
So back to BIGGER PLANS……. God gave me a great year of learning and education that increased my confidence and gave me a clear career path. He brought me products that helped restore my health. He sent me on a mission trip to Jamaica. In all of these things, I BELIEVE His main purpose was exposed when on November 7th, He spoke to me and He said, Lisa you are to adopt STEPHEN!! Yes, ADOPT. Stephen is an 11 year old boy that we met in the summer. He made a great impact on our mission team. I was shaking, excited and scared. I really wanted to bury this and forget I heard this, but it was too strong to bury. I send an email to Brad at work and it said:
“Brad I am going crazy right now. I just had a crazy thought or a God moment and I don’t know what to do with it. This morning I had been praying for some of the kids from Jamaica that I had met this summer like I do, nothing unusual happened. When I was working out at the gym they had a segment on the today show about adoption, great, made me teary but finished my workout. Came home and get into the shower and it was like bang… Stephen in the red shirt popped into my head. He was an amazing young man, 11 years old, full of vision and love for Jesus. I had this wrenching in my heart and it was like I need to bring him home. I have no idea if he is even adoptable and as you can tell, I never had any heart pulls this summer when I was there. What am I to do Brad?
I will sit on it, pray it, but what is it?????? I am honestly scared to death of this thought.”
I arrived in Brad’s office 20 minutes after I sent the email and I asked him so what do you think of my email? He sat there and was quiet for awhile, which to me felt like forever. Finally he smiled and went on to share how the evening before he had been at a men’s group. He had been asked what 2 words describe his life currently. One of his words was unrest. He had told the men that we had been seeking God as to what He wants for our lives and Brad’s exact words to these men were “we could adopt but Lisa is not very domestic!” Yep you heard him right. So when Brad got my email and he recalled the events of the evening before he could only say, YES!
So together we prayed about it, I contacted our friend in Jamaica to see if he could find out if Stephen was adoptable. When we found out that he was available we talked to our boys and they all said YES and the journey began! We currently have our papers submitted to the US government and waiting for approval. We have our initial Jamaican papers filed in Kingston and just today I found out Stephen’s last name and birth place. All of Stephen’s personal information has been added to our file today and now we are waiting for initial approval and then we will submit our entire package to them. Our hearts have totally fallen in love with our new son and brother. This mother’s heart is full of love and to be honest I am scared.
My word for 2014 is BELIEVE and I am clinging to the promise that where God calls, He will lead and never abandon. The Plett family’s world is going to be rocked in the next year. I know that God is on this adventure with us and it is all because we listened and obeyed. The rest has got to be placed in GOD’s hands. I’m good with that.
Have you ever asked God to just tell you what He wants for you in your life? Have you asked Him to spell it out clearly, to write it on the wall? There are so many things in life that are hard; we have situations and choices in life that bog us down and we just want ANSWERS or more specifically the RIGHT ANSWER!
The other day a friend shared this story with me. She has been going through a hard situation in her life and struggling with her emotions over an upcoming event. She was taking a bath on one of these ridiculously cold Indiana nights. As she went to start the water there was an Aussie Shampoo bottle laying in the middle of the tub. Not being her bottle she picked it up and set it beside the tub. As she was soaking in the tub, she was telling God about her anxiety of the upcoming event and asking Him for peace and wisdom for the situation. As she was seeking God she turned to on her side and her eyes caught the shampoo bottle and she read on the back “NO WORRIES” She paused and immediately knew that God has spoken to her.
Did God answer her? You bet He did, He confirmed to her that He has her life under control, HE has it covered and not to worry. This answer didn’t remove the hard situation from her life but it gave her courage and the peace she so wanted.
So what are you currently asking of God? What choice would you like for Him to clearly state the answer on the wall? As I was processing her story, my first thought was personal, am I really truly looking for the answer? He might have written it somewhere, but am I spending time with Him, seeking and LOOKING FOR IT? Maybe the answer is not in the comfortable place that I want it to be. Maybe I have to really look hard in places that don’t seem right but it is there. I need to be seeking Him out of true desperation. Secondly, can I let go and accept the answer that HE has for me? This is spelled TRUST! Have you ever said “but God” I have! He speaks to me through His Word and deep down I know it is His answer, but……… that really wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted an OUT, I wanted revenge, I wanted something different. So I turn away and not accept it and then I get frustrated and angry, “where are you God, why aren’t you doing something?”
Ahhh….the beauty of God awaits. He has answers for each one of His children. He loves us so much to let us go, He wants to speak, reveal and touch our lives. He is a creative God who speaks in so many ways. Even when we reject His answer, even when we aren’t even seeking Him for it, He waits and waits. The answers are there my friend! God is speaking His answers through the sunset, through the beauty of the ocean, in a small still voice, through His Word, through a friend’s word to you, on the back of a shampoo bottle. He is there! Are you truly seeking and looking for the answer? Can you TRUST that the answer He has for you is Good and Right? I have a few lessons to learn here but my desire is to SEEK, LOOK and TRUST. Will you join me?
The other day I was sharing with a friend about a new exciting adventure that our family is embarking on. I shared details and my friend asked the question “will it be difficult?” In my response I stated that it will not be an easy road but I am believing God for a miracle. His next response was “great, but just as long as you don’t expect it to not be difficult.”
These words have been rolling around in my head since they landed there. I can’t shake them. I have been praying for this miracle for a few weeks now and God continues to be providing peace and just amazing faith. My head knowledge knows that it will not be an easy road, but my faith says the miracle is going to happen. So where do I land?
I believe as Christians living in this fallen world we have become calloused to God’s miracles. We only need them in the “BIG” things. We have become hardened to God’s moving hand because we see so much hurt, sadness and yuck every day around us. My faith says that God is performing miracles every minute, every second. But I don’t see them or notice. My head tells me that the road is going to be tough instead of thanking God for the miracle of the moment.
God asked me the other day if I could trust Him enough with our journey that I wouldn’t even have to do anything on the earthly side and just believe He will do it all the Heavenly realm? Let go of control, 100% trust? My head screams NO, NO! But my heart yearns for that faith and peace!
In one of my devotionals, God placed these verses just for me.
“Do not throw away your confidence: it will be richly rewarded” Hebrews 10:35
“Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished” Luke 1:45
I want to live in the “faith” world! I don’t want my confidence to be thrown out; I want to BELIEVE that God will do what He told me He will do. I want to live in that world. But where do I put reality? I went and read Hebrews 10: 31-36. The author is reminding them how they remained faithful through terrible suffering, public ridicule, beatings, jail time and all was taken away, now that is the reality of my world. But the author wasn’t finished and that is where FAITH intersects, the end of verse 34 “you accepted it with joy. You knew there were better things waiting for you that will last forever. Do not throw away your confidence.”
So what should our response as Christians be to others who are facing exciting, but possibly difficult journeys? Do we radiate God’s Faith to them or do we keep them stuck in reality? I don’t know about you but I think I want to go the faith route. I want to accept the miracles of the moment and the crap of reality all in one shiny wrapped package of JOY. Because I know in my head and my heart that God will accomplish all the miracles that HE has promised!
Several years ago when Bryson was a part of the Baugo Challenger Baseball team out of Elkhart, they had the privilege to attend the Little League World Series in Williamsport, PA to participate in a game against another Challenger team from Louisiana. The Friday night before the game, both teams were invited to a welcome party hosted by local businesses in Williamsport. Our team had arrived before the team from Louisiana and we had gotten our food and set down under the big white tent to eat. I was sitting beside Bryson and soon the other team arrived and the players were approaching the tent. I saw Bryson watching them as they came closer. He watched and then turned to me and said “mom the other team is handicapped!” Wow, how do you answer that one? I quickly responded with “yes they are.” But my mind started spinning. Doesn’t Bryson realize that he is handicapped too? Doesn’t he realize that the team he plays for is different than “normal” little league teams? I had to sit and process this exchange later in the weekend and I realized that in a lot of ways this response was ok. Bryson’s view of himself was not about his handicaps but his view was outward and all of the opportunities he had been given.
Bryson has always lived life in view of what he CAN do and has not become discouraged by what he CAN’T do. I need to view life like that too.
As a mother of a special needs kid, I see special needs kids everywhere, I see their mothers everywhere, because that is my view.
I am a mother of boys. So I see boys and their mothers everywhere as they interact, discipline and love on, because that is my view.
When I hear that someone has lost their father, I mourn with them, because I have lost mine, because that is my view.
When I see or hear another woman struggling with low self esteem, fear, weight issues, pride. I can relate because I have seen from that view.
But how exactly am I looking through that view? Am I seeing the negative side and the hardships that they are going through? Yes, I need to see this side, but really I need to see it as an opportunity to offer help, encouragement and hope.
I need to take the handicaps of my life and use them to be the catalyst to help others deal, cope and overcome their handicaps. I need to VIEW life through God’s lenses and how HE can use all things for GOOD. God desires for us to be vessels of His love to others around us. WE need to be givers of life and hope. When we sit too long and wallow in our handicaps we can become lost in them and no longer be able to see others that are handicapped too. We need to be a community who views each other as we are, broken and sinful, but not willing to stay there. We recognize it, join up as a team and play together in the spirit of love because that is truly is the view that God desires for His children.
