Special Needs

Desert Living, Encouragement, Family, Special Needs, Stress and Anxiety

APPROVED!

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Last week we finally received good news from Arizona!

“This office has re-reviewed your appeal concerning the Division of Developmental Disabilities’ decision to deny placement in a Habilitation, Adult Developmental Home for your son, Bryson Plett. Please be advised that your appeal has been approved. The Division of Developmental Disabilities will approve placement in a Habilitation, Adult Developmental Home.”

The battle has taken almost 7 months to be fought.  Truthfully, I opened the email, read it and I was numb.  It is a cause for celebration, but the battle has been long and exhausting.  The battle didn’t end without injuries. 

We had to compromise on a few issues with Bryson’s diabetes management.

My heart, mind and body have battle scars that need to heal.

Last week I announced that I was writing a book and I wrote in my post that I wanted Bryson’s battle to be done before I announced it, but God’s promptings to make it public when I did reveal the truth of how God knows ALL. He knew that I would get the news of the approval the same week.  He needed me to step out in faith!

Thank you, prayer warriors, for your part in this adventure. I covet your continued prayers as we are still waiting for vocational rehab to start to help Bryson find a job in the Phoenix area. He isn’t fulfilled with his current day activities, and we need this to happen soon!

Books, Encouragement, Family, Memoir, Special Needs

15 Years Later

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I can remember the time and the place I was when God spoke to me and told me that Brad and I were supposed to adopt Stevan. 

I can remember the time and the place I was when my dad died.

I can remember the time and the place I was when the planes hit the World Trade Center.

I can’t remember the time or the place when God told me to write a book.  All I know is that the year was 2008. 

I can go through my computer files and my paper files and find page after page of chapter ideas, stories, and quotes that I collected over many years.

I can remember sitting down with another couple one evening and telling them about my vision for a book.

I knew the title in 2008, I knew the subject, I knew what the underlying theme would be for the book.

What I didn’t know was the book wasn’t ready to be written in 2008.  God just planted a seed.

God knew that life would have many more twists, highs and lows and lessons for me to learn.

Here we are in 2023, fifteen years after the seed was planted and I have exciting news!

I’m writing a book! My story…. a memoir!

I signed a book contract with Hope*Books at the end of May.  I have been meeting with 32 other authors by Zoom every Thursday for the past 3 months.  It has been exciting and scary.   I have completed nine assignments to help me gain focus on my subject, my audience, and my dream.  Assignment #4 was to publicly announce on my social media accounts that I was writing a book, I wasn’t ready.  I had told myself that I wanted Bryson’s situation to be resolved and then I can turn the page to the next chapter.  That hasn’t happened, but I feel God telling me it’s time to make it known.

Last week I turned in my book outline to my developmental editor.  The hard work of writing the manuscript will be my focus over the fall and winter months. The timeline of Hope*Books process is to have a published book in 12-18 months after starting with them.   

Stay tuned, I hope to share more about the writing process and bits and pieces of it here. I can’t wait till 2024 when I can share the whole work… my story with you “In a Stroke of Love”.

Desert Living, Encouragement, Family, Special Needs, Stress and Anxiety, Type One Diabetes

Close

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The last few weeks have involved lots of emails and phone calls.  Yesterday we finally received documents that outline the new proposal from the State of Arizona with the correct terminology that we can agree on.  If we agree to this, it will be several weeks until everything is finalized.

When I have explained this to a friend what the state is proposing, she asked “isn’t this what you wanted?” Yes, I will get what I wanted and I’m thankful, but it has conditions that I strongly disagree with.  I am finding it hard to wrap my mind around the added time and energy this will put on Bryson’s new family.  Also, I’m not sure that Bryson’s health will not be compromised with these “requirements.”

We are close to the battle being over, but the battle has inflicted wounds and scars that will need time to heal. 

My mind is weary, my heart is anxious, my body is exhausted.

I’m thankful for God’s unwavering love for me!

I’m thankful for my village of friends who stand in the gap when I don’t have the strength.

My hope and prayer…… when this battle is behind me, I can shift my mind, heart, and body completely into what God has for me next.

The next chapter is coming…….

Desert Living, Encouragement, Family, Special Needs, Stress and Anxiety, Type One Diabetes

Still Waiting

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I have rediscovered in the last year how writing is healing to my soul.  I have also realized how I can “shut down” and start carrying the burdens internally.  My goal was to keep writing here frequently to share my life with you, even apart from the Bryson journey you have all been walking through with me.

Most of my posts in the past have come to me at night, bits and pieces of what I’m processing in my mind.  My mind has not been quiet, but no ideas came to my mind. I’m thankful that my sleep has improved recently, but last night, I couldn’t sleep, my mind was all over the map.  

Yesterday was a stressful day involving our situation in Arizona with Bryson.  I received information in the morning that sent my mind spiraling downward.  I strongly dislike it when I get into this place, I feel out of control mentally.  The negative thoughts, the frustration and anger, the self-doubt, the bad self-talk comes. I tell myself, that I should know better, God is in Control…. but the hard feels so overwhelming and hopeless. 

As I sat in my chair, fighting to reclaim the truth, I texted several friends what I was grateful for.  It helped, but I was still caught in that angst place all day.  Late afternoon we had a meeting again with a lot of people involved in Bryson’s case.  So thankful for technology that Brad and I could both participate in the meeting. 

We have made progress, but we still do not have a clear resolution.  They offered us a proposal, the proposal that they offered is exactly what I proposed to them 5 ½ months ago when I was first informed that they were going to deny.  The exact words from an email I received about my proposal “I elevated your last suggestion and it was indicated that it is not possible for that to occur.”  NOW, it is possible?

I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted. Working with government systems that are outdated, full of bureaucracy and dealing with people who are not the decision makers but the vessels to deliver information and they can’t answer my questions.

I realized last night as my mind was on overdrive, I wanted my next post here to be titled DONE! I want this to be done, we are in the 11th month since we started this adventure. It has been 5 ½ months since they first denied our request to pay for the home we want for Bryson.

Today is a new day, a day with sunshine. I cling to the truth of God’s plan, His timing, His purposes. As most of us know, we might never have clear answers to the WHYs in our life. My mind is hopeful and less foggy to see the situation in a better light. 

Yesterday when I was fighting for hope, I picked up my Bible and opened it… This is what I read:

Samuel 2:1-2

Then Hannah prayed: “My heart rejoices in the Lord!  The Lord has made me strong.
Now I have an answer for my enemies; I rejoice because you rescued me. No one is holy like the Lord!  There is no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God.

Micah 7:15-16

Yes,” says the Lord, “I will do mighty miracles for you, like those I did when I rescued you from slavery in Egypt.” All the nations of the world will stand amazed at what the Lord will do for you. They will be embarrassed at their feeble power. They will cover their mouths in silent awe, deaf to everything around them.

Encouragement, Family, Special Needs, Stress and Anxiety

Update

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Last week was a whirlwind, the Elkhart County Fair happened! Brad’s niece and brother came to visit, and Bryson asked to stay so he could go to the fair a few days. He ended up being home with us for a month. 

Monday afternoon, I received a call and an email from our lawyer. DDD wanted to send in a nurse and administrator to meet Bryson and to see how the Omnipod works.  I believe God has His hand in the perfect timing of this.  I told Susan that Bryson and I were flying home that evening and I was going to be in the Valley for one day and can they meet me on Tuesday.  We now have evidence that DDD can move fast if they want! One thing I had to give up for them to come in was to push back our hearing date. I wasn’t worried, Bryson was going to be seen and the facts would prevail.

Our meeting was Tuesday afternoon, DDD sent a district nurse and DDD health Service Administrator.  Our agency sent a representative on our behalf.  I was a nervous wreak and I was also so grateful that Bryson was going to be seen.  Bryson was a total rockstar. They asked him if he could walk me through the pod change as if I had never done it before.  He did perfectly.  There were 6 adults watching him, three were strangers, and he calmly and confidently talked me through the steps.  I could tell the nurse and admin were impressed.  My hopes were high! Finally, we saw the truth and a quick decision would be made to get this all resolved.

I flew home on Wednesday and hopped right back into the craziness of fair week.  My thoughts were positive, I would hear soon from my lawyer, and I could lay this all down. I emailed our lawyer on Thursday asking her when she thought she would hear something. Her response sent me spiraling downward, she said “don’t expect to hear anything for a few weeks.”

The end is not in sight, we don’t have a new hearing date scheduled.  Our lawyer must turn in her new hearing statement on the 18th of August. There is nothing we can do to make them move. 

A dear friend reminded me to list what I am grateful for:

I am thankful for God’s hand in the timing of Bryson being seen. 

I am thankful that Bryson was happy and ready to go back to his new home in Phoenix.

I am thankful for my village who have prayed, send me encouraging words and listened to me as I have dumped out my frustrations.

I am thankful for my new kitten Leo… yes, he was probably brought home because of my need for a new distraction, but he has produced a lot of laughter in our home.

Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done. 1 Chronicles 16:8

Desert Living, Encouragement, Family, Special Needs, Stress and Anxiety

Silence

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Sunday marks the start of a new week, a fresh start, a blank slate. Sunday also represents an end of a week, a doneness, a no going back.

Last Monday, there were a lot of conversations through email and phone calls about Bryson’s case with the State of Arizona. Our lawyer stated she was hoping to have the case wrapped up by the end of the week.

Since Monday… there has only been SILENCE. On Thursday I prayed bold, strong prayers… SILENCE.

Friday and Saturday, I did all that I could to stay busy, distractions… writing, tv watching, sleeping…to help not think about the SILENCE.

I woke up at 3 a.m. this morning, and with the quietness of the night, that SILENCE reminded me of the SILENCE I was trying to avoid. I still don’t understand, this wait, this unfinished business. My mind started circling around all the circumstances of the case; I tried to lay it down because this circling in my mind is not good for my stress level. Why God, it makes no sense why we are still waiting in this space.

So, a new week is here and this week our lawyer will have to start preparing for the hearing on August 1. None of us wanted to be heading into this week. What Lord, do I have to learn yet?

Today is supposed to be a day of rest, physically rest is available, but my mind doesn’t want to rest. Physically, we are all doing ok. Bryson is still in Goshen with us, he is enjoying his time here, but he talks about going back to The Valley. It helps me know that he is doing good. The resolution of this case isn’t affecting Bryson. I’m grateful for that. There are so many what ifs in my brain until this all gets settled. So…I will again pray with bold and strong prayers for resolution.

Desert Living, Encouragement, Family, Special Needs

Same but Different

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Last week our family was able to resume our annual family trip to Manitoba, Canada. We had not been there as a family since 2019. In those four years, it feels like a lot has happened… but we felt the same love, got to travel the same dusty bumpy dirt roads, the three-piece chicken snack with fries and gravy  and Tim Horton’s Ice Capps tasted the same, and the Plett family was still up to their shenanigans. Our family dynamics were different this year because Stevan wasn’t with us. He is currently in Brazil, 4000 miles away serving with YWAM, and Kaden got to bring along his girlfriend, Leah along.

Bryson is currently back home in Indiana with us. It is good to have him back. I say that in truth, but brutal honesty says I wasn’t ready for him to be back. I have been home for six weeks now. Bryson had been settled into his new home in Arizona for 6 weeks before we picked him up. I had been adjusting to the new normal of his absence. The Island was free of his medicine paraphernalia, my mind had relaxed from carb counting and Brad and I had established a new freedom to go whenever we wanted without having to plan for Bryson’s care.

Yesterday, Bryson and I went out for lunch and did a little shopping. I had flashbacks to the many times we did this while we were living in the Valley together. I caught myself thinking, here I am again back to my caregiver role, for a moment I felt claustrophobic and sad. We reminisced about our favorite eating establishments, and he reminded me as we were heading to Ross “what do you need? This was always his line to me when I told him we were going shopping. Most times I had a mission of what needed to be purchased but sometimes I was “just looking.” He has been known to call me a hoarder at times, Oh Bryson you sure know how to take the fun out of shopping.

There was a sameness, a comfort in our relationship, this is the dance that Bryson and I did for 8 months in the Valley, but also the last 6 years since he walked across the stage completing his high school career. But I saw a difference in Bryson yesterday, I saw a new confidence, a new contentment. He is happy to be back in Indiana, He is ok with being here because “July is warm” But he knows that he isn’t staying. He loves Arizona and he is proud to tell you that. He talks about his new home with affection. Yes, he will tell you he is bored with his daytime activities, and I had to remind him this is just for a season, we will eventually be getting him a job.

As I write, God speaks to me and helps me process my whirling thoughts. “Lisa, open your eyes to see the hope and newness that Bryson brings, look what you have accomplished, you have given him his wings, use this time to replace the old memories of caregiving with new mom memories” I need to keep this thought in my head over the next few weeks.

Bryson would love to connect with his people while he is back. He needs his people. Reach out to him or me!

I still need my people, my prayer warriors. The legal side of things is in full motion. This week a host of phone calls and emails between our lawyer, DDD, and our agency have taken place. Our new official hearing date is August 1. Our lawyer is fighting to get this resolved before and with all the action that is happening, it needs resolution soon. When I woke up this morning, my prayer was “Jesus, let DDD just own up to their mistake that the nursing assessment was wrong.” So often not owning up to our mistakes is what keeps us stuck in the same hard place. If DDD would just acknowledge this, the case could be settled.

Will you pray with me for a miracle this week?

Desert Living, Encouragement, Family, Special Needs, Stress and Anxiety

Fear and Flashbacks

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I woke up at 4:30 am yesterday morning, anxious and weepy. I laid in bed for an hour crying as silently as I could. I didn’t want to get up and disturb the household. Finally, at 5:30 I ventured upstairs and started working on a puzzle to relieve my mind of all my negative thoughts.

I realized my current thoughts and anxiety were linked to past experiences that had affected my life.  Let’s flashback to the years 2014 and 2015.  Those were the intense years of Stevan’s adoption process from Jamaica.  We had to work directly with the Jamaica government, there was no rhyme or reason to when they would review our case. There was no timeline on when it would be complete and Stevan could come and join our family.  I had no control!

Yesterday afternoon, I talked to our lawyer after her phone call with the State of Arizona.  The State of Arizona wants a continuance of the hearing.  Susan, our lawyer, told the state’s attorney all the details that she has prepared in our case.  The main grounds that the State of Arizona is basing their case on is “the fear of running out of insulin”  Susan, told them that this is not a MEDICAL reason to place Bryson in a skilled nurse group home. Susan’s next words have played in my mind since the phone call “you can’t build a case on a fear you have about the future!” The State wants control!

As I ponder, control seems to be the driving force.  It is what I yearn for in many areas of my life. Last fall, while living in the RV, I read The Cost of Control: Why We Crave it, the Anxiety it Gives Us, and the Real Power God Promises by Sharon Hodde Miller. It is a powerful book of truths. Sharon states in the book “The problem is, control is a “devil’s deal.” The more we seek it, the more it betrays us. In place of predictability, it gives us anxiety. In place of certainty, it creates more complexity. And in place of unity, it divides. It’s not just that we cannot control things; it’s that we break them even more when we try.”

 It’s easy to get entangled with the need for control. Sadly, it has ruled my life. 

My anger is at the State of Arizona, but as God is revealing to me, I  need to get mad at satan and to put on my full armor and fight against the principalities, rest on God’s promises and to LET GO AND LET GOD!

A dear friend sent me an email full of the promises from God’s Word on Wednesday.

I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”  Psalm 91:2

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.  Romans 15:13

What next? The State is asking to move the hearing back to August 1. This will give them more time to figure out a good solution for this case.  MORE TIME?!?! As of now, the brief statement needs to be submitted by July 18.  Susan believes it can be settled by then because the State’s attorney doesn’t want to spend all the time preparing her brief when she knows she can’t win.

Last night, after the phone call I needed time alone and I listened to music while I worked on the puzzle again.  The song Hallelujah Anyway by Rend Collective came on.

“Even if my daylight never dawns
Even if my breakthrough never comes
Even if I’ll fight to bring You praise
Even if my dreams fall to the ground
Even if I’m lost, I know I’m found
Even if my heart will somehow say
Hallelujah anyway.”

This morning shortly after I woke up this chant started playing in my mind….

“I believe, I believe, I believe we will win, I believe we will win! (thanks to the Fairfield sports cheering section for this)

Letting go and letting God… it’s hard in the even ifs, it’s hard in the fear, it’s hard in the flashbacks. But the ONE who saved me, will deliver me and HE HAS WON!

Desert Living, Encouragement, Family, Special Needs, Stress and Anxiety

Another Delay

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Nothing was resolved yesterday; the judge didn’t put something in her notice for our lawyer to file the brief/statement. So… another delay. Our lawyer is planning to talk to the attorney tomorrow afternoon to hopefully resolve this. That attorney is heading for vacation on Friday. I’m frustrated and tired. The final hearing is still scheduled for July 18. That is a full court hearing with testimony etc. I don’t want that.

I realized last night; I am going to the worst-case scenario… what will happen if God doesn’t provide a miracle. I spent 8 months in Arizona, I have spent hours filling out paperwork, dissected Bryson’s every ability and inability… Bryson is happy where he is living with his new family. What if they say NO again?

What is His purpose for this delay again? He is done many miracles and He can, but I also know about unanswered prayers. I try to look for the good in all of this… I’m trying.

Thankful for the words from Christine Caine this morning on Instagram “you are going to have to trust God even when you can’t trace Him. You’re going to have to replace your “what if” fears with “what if” faith. What if God comes through? Has to be bigger then, what if I fail? What if God makes a way? Has to be bigger than, what if there is no way? Remember, impossible is where God starts. Miracles are what God does.”

Thanks for your prayers and encouragement. This battle has been so long.

Desert Living, Encouragement, Family, Special Needs, Stress and Anxiety, Uncategorized

Mustard Seed

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This afternoon at 5 pm eastern is the prehearing phone call between our lawyer and the State of Arizona.  To be honest and raw, my faith is small.  I want to believe… I want to be positive….

The trauma from 2 past decisions that the State made has caused me to question.  I know that God understands, and I know that He will take my mustard seed faith and can work miracles.  I need a miracle God!

Our family traveled to Manitoba on Sunday.  Brad took the long way back to his homeland.  We left early Sunday morning and dropped Brad off at Midway Airport in Chicago at 6 am. He boarded a plane to Phoenix and arrived there at 9:30 am Phoenix time.  Our friends, Gordon and Lynette, had picked up Bryson from his home and brought him to the airport.  They did a Bryson exchange… and Brad and Bryson boarded the next plane and left Phoenix at 12 pm.  They arrived in Minneapolis for their next connection flight to Winnipeg in the midafternoon.  Everything fell apart that this time…their connecting flight to Winnipeg was delayed and delayed until finally canceled at 12:25 am on Monday morning and rescheduled for Tuesday night! Try to explain that rescheduling timeline.  There were no hotels available in the area.  Finally, at 4:30 am Brad and Bryson climbed into an Uber and drove to a local gas station where Brad had to get cash out of the ATM to pay for the Uber drive and they were Ubered from Minneapolis to Grand Forks, North Dakota, a 5-hour drive! They arrived there around 9:30 am and Brad’s brother and brother-in-law drove the 4 hours down to get them and picked them up at 11:30 to drive them home.  Brad and Bryson finally with his family at 3:30 pm on Monday.  Exhausted and frustrated.

We also believe that when Brad opened Bryson’s suitcase in the airport for his seizure meds, his extra Dexcom sensor must have fallen out because we couldn’t find it anywhere. He needs a new one on Wednesday. Brad was able to find some online from a Canadian supplier and we are praying that they arrive tomorrow.

With these two incidents’ happening the last couple of days… my faith started getting weary and discouragement set in.

It was so good to see Bryson and he was happy to be with the Plett side of the family.  We have not been here as a family since 2019. 

The shenanigans started when we arrived on Sunday night, and I expect nothing less from them. 

I have been communicating with our lawyer all day today as she is preparing her argument.

I need all my prayer warriors again!

Thanks!