Today Bryson and I fly back to Indiana. I have been checking the 15 day forecast and it looks like we are arriving to cold and a few flurries. I’ve never been a fan of snow unless I am sitting inside the house warm and I can just look at it white and pure.
Last weekend, it rained at the RV resort and it snowed North of us. I was able to see my first snow of the season on the Four Peaks. This really was as close as I wanted to come with snow, but as Brad reminded Bryson last night “the love of all our family and friends will keep us wrapped in warmth and we don’t need to think about the snow.”
I will be focusing on being at home with family and friends, so I don’t plan to post here for awhile. I hope you all have a warm and joyous Christmas celebrating the birth of Jesus! May you find Him close and may you experience His love for you EVERY day!
Before we left for Arizona I told my boys that I was going to start a YouTube channel and post videos from this adventure. They rolled their eyes at me, then I remembered this blog and so I started this back up instead. I still had this desire to do video… Introducing Baking By Lisa… movie credits go to Ali for helping to piece together and teaching me how to do it!
I welcome feedback, if you would like to see more videos from me!
We had a great weekend with Ty, his timing was not so good for him but great for me. We had a poop problem in the RV. Ty had to tackle it and he became my hero!
I checked out the 15 day Goshen forecast today and I’m not impressed at all. It’s a good thing that I love my family and friends so much to come back to the bitterly cold Midwest. Hope I can see a lot of you soon.
It has been three days since I left you hanging on the good news I received. Sorry to do that but I’m here now. The email that I received on Monday was to say that Bryson had been approved from the first government agency. This agency decides eligibility based on a person’s disability. There are five disabilities that he could qualify under, he technically qualified under 4 of the 5 but he only needs to be approved for one of them! Now we have one more large hurdle to pass. This is with the funding piece of the AZ government that has to determine him eligible. This will involve a long and hard interview. We now wait to hear from them.
Other good news of the week, Brad, Bryson and I decided over Thanksgiving weekend which family he would live with. I notified them the first of this week and they are overjoyed to have Bryson be a part of their family. I will give you more details in the future but for now, we will continue to get to know them better till he can actually be placed in their home.
Onto way lighter subjects…… coffee shops!
Dutch Bros is one of the popular coffee shops in the Valley. We have been getting great drinks from them over the years. Stickers have become one of the current trends and Dutch Bros aims to please its cliental. They give out stickers on the first Wednesday of each month. Yesterday was the third Wednesday that we have been here and we had to go get our drinks and the monthly sticker. These coffee drinks to not line up well with Bryson’s diabetes and in the past I have kept him away from having any. I decided life is to short and if he wants to have an occasional high carb drink… why not!! This one drink is as many carbs as his normal cheeseburger and fries meal… It brings the high carb and calorie count into perspective on our countries expensive coffee drink habit.
October’s stickerNovember’s stickerTheir main sticker that Lynette gifted us.
After my gloomy post on Monday about the weather, the sun did come out and I saw my blue skies again. Sunsets here are beautiful and driving home the other evening, I pulled over beside the road four different times to take pictures. Bryson thought I was nuts. I love the pictures but they do not do justice to the real beauty.
We were greeted that evening as we arrived at the RV park by our friends. I had to stop again and capture this picture.
Ty is coming to visit again this weekend! It makes this mama heart happy. He was supposed to go snowmobiling up north this weekend but they don’t have enough snow, he is heading southwest instead. I quickly made a small honey do list for him to accomplish.
I can’t believe we are heading home in 10 days. I did check the predicted 15 day weather forecast for Goshen and realized I will have to actually put on closed shoes and socks. I’m not ready for the cold. I woke up this morning to discover the one LP tank had run out and the RV was 54 degrees. I quickly went outside and opened the other tank and I’ve got it warmed up in here already. But 54 is as cold as I would like it to be.
The last three days have been different here, it has been 100% cloudy, rainy and humid. In the past we have had pop up rain showers and a lot of days there are fluffy white clouds in the blue sky, but not like this, I haven’t seen the sun in a few days. Here is why it feels like Indiana…..
I was slowed down by horses on my morning commute… kind of like buggy traffic……
On Friday I drove on Central (this is the road that splits Phoenix in half) To the east of Central the roads are named Streets and the west of Central the names are Avenues. It’s kind of an appropriate name don’t you think. On Central it doesn’t feel at all like you are in Arizona in the desert. I could believe I was driving down Meridian Street in Indianapolis. It’s early December and the leaves are changing color and falling.
On Friday, while Bryson and I were heading to an appointment, we had to take a detour because of a stopped train….. (taking me back to detouring CR 36 all the time)
Actually seeing water and puddles……
I can’t see the mountains…this could be Indiana????
This morning they had a dense fog advisory and by mid morning there is still a foggy haze.
Last night at supper, a lady came in dressed like it was winter, wearing a winter coat and hat……. It was 55 and humid! (For some reason it won’t let me post the picture)
I do have the RV door open this morning… it is 62 and the forecast says the sun will shine soon. I’m going to be grateful for that!
While I was writing this, Bryson was still sleeping all curled up on his bed. His bed is in the living area and we have a good system each morning and evening of getting it out and putting away. He has learned to put it away by himself but last week as he was folding it up he dropped it and got a scratch on his arm, I’ve been trying to assist him a bit more since then.
Oh my word, I was just finishing up this post and I saw a notification for an email from one of the Arizona government agencies…… It’s good news… I got to go and digest this and I will be back soon to tell you more.
We have lived in the desert in an RV for 60 days. Today I am enjoying the warm sunny weather with my windows and front door open. The month of November went fast with visitors. This week has been good, crazy, and hard. Brad and I made several BIG decisions that will affect our family’s future. I am at peace but also freaked out. My heart feels callused, I’m not an emotional person and my emotions have been locked down tightly. Today, after a phone conversation, I shed tears and it felt good and foreign.
This week, I did have an interview with one of the government agencies regarding Bryson’s finances. I will have another one with them and I have been told it will be very hard… they will do all they can to find Bryson ineligible for benefits. I have great support with the agency we are working with who will help me know how to handle this interview. I emailed the other government agency we are working with and was told there are two more clients before Bryson for review.
Bryson and I decorated the RV for Christmas. As adamant as Bryson was about not decorating before Thanksgiving, he was just as adamant to get the décor up this week. He loves lights, LED lights and multi color!
Last night, Gordon and Bryson went to the Chicago Bulls and Phoenix Suns NBA game. From what Bryson tells me the Suns are leading their division and they hammered the Bulls last night. Bryson did wear his Bulls shirt, but he has already purchased a Phoenix Suns shirt. He said he will wear that when they are not playing the Bulls.
I’m not one to be vague with details but there are several decisions, happenings and issues that I would appreciate prayer for that I can’t specify on this public place. Hopefully I can share them eventually and share how God has moved in each of these areas.
Bryson and I are coming home the week before Christmas to spend time with family. Stevan will be home from Louisville where he is participating in YWAM and Kaden will be home from college. Sad truth is that Bryson doesn’t want to come home. I have learned a lot about him these last 2 months and realizing how detached he is emotionally. I know he loves all of us but when he is focused on something……that is what consumes him. I am looking forward to seeing family and friends, but not too excited about having to wear closed toe shoes and jackets!
Wednesday evening late I went to the airport for the 9th time since we have been here to pick up Brad. I have the route memorized. It was so good to see him, we had not seen him for 30 days. It was my first thanksgiving blessing of the weekend.
Thursday we were blessed with an invitation to share Thanksgiving lunch with Gordon, Lynette and Ali. Lynette had the table decorated simple but elegant and the food was delicious. We are grateful for amazing friends who make their home feel like “home” to us. The ladies left the men to nap in the afternoon and I was introduced to an antique mall that was full of cool merchandise.
Continuing on the theme of thanksgiving, we left Bryson at G&L’s house and Brad and I were able to get away for the night and the next day. We made sure that they knew to put Bryson to work the next day with getting out their Christmas décor.
Brad and I stayed at the Wigwam in Litchfield Park. Our view from the patio reminded me that I could be on a Caribbean Island. I was happy to be in a large room and the bathroom was about the size of our entire RV! We were able to discuss all the large looming decisions that we have to make in the next few months regarding a family for Bryson, lodging options if we need to stay longer than January 1, 2023 and also Christmas plans.
Saturday, we spent investigating and gathering more information about our decisions. We ended the evening watching the Notre Dame game at a sports bar across from our RV resort. Bryson and I had been there before and I had seen that they had whoopie pies on the dessert menu. I was intrigued, I ordered one and it came out and was nothing like my mom’s famous mini whoopie pies. The waitress talked to the chef to confirm what it was made from; lemon scones with cream cheese and blueberry filling. It was delicious but NOT what I would call a whoopie pie!
We became tourists on Sunday, we drove 2 hours to Clarksdale and went on a four-hour train ride through the Verde Canyon on the Verde Canyon Railroad. We saw beautiful scenery; we heard a lot about the Arizona history of the area and had great appetizers and drinks. I saw several javelina and a bunch of mule deer. It was a long day but worth every minute. I would recommend it if you are out in the Phoenix area.
The past four days were busy, refreshing but also intense with all the decisions that had to be made. I believe we were able to come to an agreement on most of them. There are a lot of details still in the works that need to come together. I have heard NOTHING regarding the status of Bryson’s paperwork with the Arizona government. We will continue to wait and trust God for the timing of all things.
I dropped Brad off early this morning at the airport and today has been a day of refocusing back to living in the desert just B and me! Brad did see on the news that the valley has had the coldest November in 20 years. I am not going to complain, the weather had been beautiful, bright blue skies and sunshine.
Thanks for checking in to see what is happening in our world. I appreciate all your prayers!
This photo is from the Ironman Arizona website; this is the highway I travel almost every day.
Ironman Arizona happened close to where we live this past Sunday. They closed one direction of the highway for the bike portion of the race. As we were coming home from church and lunch on Sunday, we drove for 13 miles beside the bikers. Some were going north at a slight incline and then others were already on their way south. I was driving so I couldn’t watch them as much as I would have liked but as I observed them my mind kept going to the question “what is their story and what has led them to compete in the Ironman?” After returning to the RV, I googled the route and discover what all is involved in the Ironman. It starts with a 3.8 km (2.36 miles) swim; 180 km (111.85 miles) bike ride and then 42.2 (26.2 miles) run. There were approximately 2500 athletes that competed.
I have not been able to get the images of these bikers out of my mind the last few days and the word endurance has been surfacing when it comes to mind. The definition of endurance – the ability to withstand hardship or adversity; the ability to sustain a prolonged stressful effort or activity. Or another definition – the act or an instance of enduring or suffering.
When I read the definition, it sounds HARD and LONG…. Why would anyone do this willingly to their body? They signed up to do this, they paid an entrance fee to do this, they knew when they arrived at the starting line what was ahead of them, but still they showed up.
I’m not an athlete… and my physical status has never been “in shape”. I have participated in several 5k run and walks over the years and I have had times when I exercised regularly and pushed myself beyond what I thought I could do but I have never trained or have any “athletic mentality” so I just can’t relate to doing something like this.
But… I feel such a connection to this race… such a pull to the words HARD and LONG, it feels like my life. The part that I’m wrestling with is: I didn’t agree to this; I didn’t sign up for this; I wasn’t prepared on that cold January morning in 1998 when a nurse told me that Bryson had suffered a seizure in the nursery during the night. I wasn’t aware of what was ahead of me, I had NO choice but to show up and become the best mother to my first-born son.
Endurance… is that what this is, sitting in an RV in the middle of the desert 1500 miles from home…looking for a family for him to live with? Is this what the ability to withstand hardship…. the ability to sustain a prolonged stressful effort? Is this what 24 years, 10 months of caring for Bryson has been. It has been hard, and it has been long, the word endurance seems so negative…
As I reflect on the athletes that signed up for the Ironman, I believe that even though they knew about the hardship that they would be facing for the next 7-12 hours…. that when they finished exhausted at the finish line…. they will probably do it again. I didn’t know what was ahead of me back in 1998 and I’m tired in so many ways from this race, I’m tired of the caregiving that it takes with all of his physical and medical needs, I’m tired of fighting and worrying about his future. But I would do it all over again if I had to… Bryson has shown me beauty in a new way, his courage, strength and acceptance of his disabilities…. his positive view to life… there has been many wonderful memories over the years and I love my son with my whole being… all his quirks, thoughts and passions. When I release my caregiving role to someone else… I will embrace the privilege it is to just be Bryson’s mother!
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9 NIV
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Hebrews 12:1 NIV
I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4 NIV
Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope. Romans 5:3–4
This week has flown by, and I can’t believe next week is Thanksgiving. Fall and Christmas décor are everywhere but when I walk out of the RV in my shorts and t-shirt and feel the warm sun on my skin, it doesn’t feel like that time of year.
Kaden left Monday afternoon and my mom arrived late Monday night. It has been good to have here her. Not going to lie, but whenever a third person stays with us, the space gets cramped. It has been good to have another person to chat and to go shopping with. Bryson does not like shopping. He usually stays in the car when I run into Ross or Bealls Outlet to look around. He takes all the fun out of shopping by asking me “do you really need that?” I think Brad has been coaching Bryson on that line!!
Tuesday, I took my mom to her sister and BIL place and she stayed with them overnight. Gordon took Bryson to the Henderson Silver Knights hockey game in Tucson to watch Jermaine play (Bryson’s cousin) From Gordon’s account it sounds like Bryson was a live wire and showed the few Roadrunner fans up with his yelling! I got to have a sleep over at Lynette’s house. I slept in a real house and had a shower in a nice normal bathroom after 46 days of living in the RV.
Today, we invaded the Miller’s house and took over their kitchen. I am assisting a friend whose son is at GCU with a care package and he requested banana bread and puppy chow. With my mother, who is known for her cooking and baking in town, I took advantage of it, and she baked up a storm. She also blessed us with her famous Buffalo Chicken dip! (She brought whoopie pies and chocolate chip cookie bars in her suitcase when she came… so yummy)
As we arrived at the RV resort this afternoon we were greeted by a herd of cattle. I think they were looking to check in for the weekend……. My mom had just mentioned about 3 minutes before that she hadn’t seen any cows or horses yet and POOF.. there they were! I did see my first roadrunner yesterday just outside of the RV resort. He was cute and fast.
It has been two weeks since I submitted Bryson’s paperwork and I have heard NOTHING…. We wait and we pray….
I got my love of reading from my motherLast night’s sunset
It’s been a hard week, my creative writing juices have escaped me. I have several fun themed posts I want to write but I haven’t been able to get them out of my head and onto paper. I know there is no pressure for me to write on the blog, but I want to, I want to write, I want to express my thoughts and tell my story. So here I am this morning…. Just being open and honest with all of you.
I wrote this on Tuesday in my notes on my phone while I was sitting by the pool waiting for my laundry to get done…. I’m more and more thankful for my washer and dryer that is IN my home and I don’t have to walk and wait till the cycles are finished. The one benefit is that my laundry gets done in an hour and that includes folding and putting away!
Here is what I wrote….
When there is beauty all around you, but your soul remains sad
When you see the goodness of Jesus, but your heart still is heavy
When you know He has plans for you, but you feel there is nothing to dream
When you can see the reflection of God’s amazing beauty all around you, but your eyes are void of life
When you are surrounded by people, but you still feel all alone
When you can look up at the mountains, know where your help comes from, but you feel like the climb is too hard to do
When you know, God has every minute of your day in His control, but the day seem long, and the nights even longer
It’s raw and when I read it again it feels so hopeless… I don’t want these feeling. I want to rejoice in the victory that we experienced last week…. I know I’m just exhausted mentally and emotionally from the battle. I want to see the beauty in full color all around me, I want to laugh and dance, I want to experience all that God has for me…. Just was reminded that I took a picture of a rainbow that I saw on Wednesday. It was chilly and rainy that day….. felt like a northern Indiana day. In the midst of the cold and rain… God showed me His colors through a rainbow!
I thank you all for continuing to pray for us! I know those prayers are sustaining me even on the down days. Kaden is coming this weekend and super excited to show him my world here and make good memories together.
Timed changed this weekend but technically it didn’t affect me, Arizona doesn’t change times. The good news, Indiana is now two hours difference in time versus three.
Thank you all for your prayers and support last week. It was a difficult few days. Friday afternoon I did receive an email from the government agency that she was reopening the case. PTL!! Now I am back to waiting to see if they have all the paperwork they need to decide if Bryson qualifies for benefits.
Friday, I was emotionally and mentally exhausted so we didn’t do much, I went into town to get a few groceries and was blessed to see wild horses close to the entrance of the RV resort.
When Brad was here a few weeks ago, I had talked to him about getting a latch so that I could keep the outside rv door open and just have the screen door. We ran out of time for him to come up with a solution. But I found a way…. Brad called me “MacGyver”!
Ty arrived late Friday night and we have enjoyed a fun weekend together. His friend, Josh arrived Saturday night and we did some exploring on Sunday. The guys played basketball with Bryson and took him out for breakfast, to give me a little alone time. The guys are still here as I am writing, I have them finishing up the honey do list! We are taking them to the airport this afternoon and then it will be back to just me and B.
I have had a lot of deep thoughts swirling through my head over the last week and they need to come out onto paper, but I haven’t allowed myself time to truly process all of them so hopefully this week I can spend time praying and processing.
