I have been a basket of mixed emotions this past week as I have watched my son Bryson, be embraced by the Fairfield Football team and coaches. This is Bryson’s third year of managing, so it isn’t a new thing but it is different because as a 9th grader, he has been thrust into the “big leagues” of high school football.
Listening to his nonstop talk about where the next game is to be played and analyzing if the team is ready to win is interesting but also exhausting. Bryson is a BIG dreamer, he has shared how he wants to lead the Fairfield Varsity team out onto the field when they get to the State finals at Lucas Oil Stadium. He also dreams of coaching the Colts some day. He doesn’t think small, he believes all things are possible. This quality has and will take him far but we, as his parents, have had many situations in his first 15 years where we have had to squash his dreams and tell him No, that isn’t possible for him and helped him to refocus his dreams. Just one example of refocusing has been from playing football to managing football.
This is why my heart swells with gratitude for the Fairfield football team and coaches, as he has started his high school managing career. I have not had to squash his dream about wanting to work with Coach Miller or his excitement about being on the sidelines on Friday nights. This dream is coming true and in ways that bring tears to my eyes. Caring parents and coaches who are making sure he gets what he needs and feels apart of the program. A coach who has just started getting to know Bryson, notices his love for Notre Dame football and gives him two tickets to the home opener. Giving him the task at the varsity game of taking water to the refs during the game, those acts of giving and including are what Bryson’s dreams are made of, chances and opportunities.
My heart is full of emotions. As a mother you only want the best chances and opportunities for your child. But when you have a child with special needs, it looks different. When you know that his opportunities are limited, the little things are what really matter. Over the years I have allowed my heart to harden in trusting people to give my boy a chance, an opportunity. Time and time again I have been humbled at the kindness and love Bryson has received. So why do I continue to doubt? As I sit here and ponder that question, I’m not really sure of the answer. Maybe it is just the protective mother’s heart, willing to jump and attack anyone who just might hurt their child. I don’t know but with tears falling down my cheeks, I do know that I can let my heart soften, that I can trust because I know I have seen with my own eyes people loving, giving and embracing my son just as he is. Maybe that is all I really want anyway, I want people to see the value in my son, even though he can’t play the game or he won’t get a high school diploma. Each child has been placed on this earth for a purpose and plan by our Heavenly Father and I know and believe that through the kindness of family, friends, coaches, teachers and classmates, that Bryson will discover what his purpose here is and that makes this mom’s heart swell with gratitude to all who are helping shape him and who love him just for who he is. Thank you.
