Ironman Arizona happened close to where we live this past Sunday. They closed one direction of the highway for the bike portion of the race. As we were coming home from church and lunch on Sunday, we drove for 13 miles beside the bikers. Some were going north at a slight incline and then others were already on their way south. I was driving so I couldn’t watch them as much as I would have liked but as I observed them my mind kept going to the question “what is their story and what has led them to compete in the Ironman?” After returning to the RV, I googled the route and discover what all is involved in the Ironman. It starts with a 3.8 km (2.36 miles) swim; 180 km (111.85 miles) bike ride and then 42.2 (26.2 miles) run. There were approximately 2500 athletes that competed.
I have not been able to get the images of these bikers out of my mind the last few days and the word endurance has been surfacing when it comes to mind. The definition of endurance – the ability to withstand hardship or adversity; the ability to sustain a prolonged stressful effort or activity. Or another definition – the act or an instance of enduring or suffering.
When I read the definition, it sounds HARD and LONG…. Why would anyone do this willingly to their body? They signed up to do this, they paid an entrance fee to do this, they knew when they arrived at the starting line what was ahead of them, but still they showed up.
I’m not an athlete… and my physical status has never been “in shape”. I have participated in several 5k run and walks over the years and I have had times when I exercised regularly and pushed myself beyond what I thought I could do but I have never trained or have any “athletic mentality” so I just can’t relate to doing something like this.
But… I feel such a connection to this race… such a pull to the words HARD and LONG, it feels like my life. The part that I’m wrestling with is: I didn’t agree to this; I didn’t sign up for this; I wasn’t prepared on that cold January morning in 1998 when a nurse told me that Bryson had suffered a seizure in the nursery during the night. I wasn’t aware of what was ahead of me, I had NO choice but to show up and become the best mother to my first-born son.
Endurance… is that what this is, sitting in an RV in the middle of the desert 1500 miles from home…looking for a family for him to live with? Is this what the ability to withstand hardship…. the ability to sustain a prolonged stressful effort? Is this what 24 years, 10 months of caring for Bryson has been. It has been hard, and it has been long, the word endurance seems so negative…
As I reflect on the athletes that signed up for the Ironman, I believe that even though they knew about the hardship that they would be facing for the next 7-12 hours…. that when they finished exhausted at the finish line…. they will probably do it again. I didn’t know what was ahead of me back in 1998 and I’m tired in so many ways from this race, I’m tired of the caregiving that it takes with all of his physical and medical needs, I’m tired of fighting and worrying about his future. But I would do it all over again if I had to… Bryson has shown me beauty in a new way, his courage, strength and acceptance of his disabilities…. his positive view to life… there has been many wonderful memories over the years and I love my son with my whole being… all his quirks, thoughts and passions. When I release my caregiving role to someone else… I will embrace the privilege it is to just be Bryson’s mother!
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9 NIV
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Hebrews 12:1 NIV
I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4 NIV
Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope. Romans 5:3–4
I love all the verses posted.💗
Endurance-what a word!🙌
I love your new perspective on Bryson ❣️
We’re in this race together sister!
My precious daughter, how I love you and Bryson, I cannot put into words my own feelings through this journey but I want to be available to your family. Your Dad would be so proud of your faith and endurance!
Love how you can put into words the feelings and experiences of the past. And I believe we understand a bit about wanting to just be the mother and not the caregiver. Caregiving is demanding. We commend you for your endurance and persistence. Praying the new family will be found. God is faithful.