I have been praying since we started the adoption process for Stevan (just found out that this is the correct spelling of his name on his birth certificate) to be home by August. When I think of Stevan and his needs; being here to start school on time would be helpful; not arriving in the winter would be great. I shared this a while back with a friend and she said to me that we need to realize that God’s timing is the perfect timing and our ideas might not be the same as His. This left me a bit dejected and questioning “isn’t it ok to ask for a miracle and for the things that would be most helpful to Stevan?” So I continued to pray for it but with less energy and passion as I had before.
Over the past several weeks, the adoption has made progress but looking at the entire process in all reality I came to the realization that August would have to be a TOTAL GOD THING, because humanly it definitely seemed out of the question. We were told our case should be ready for the adoption board by August because it will miss the July deadline because they are waiting on Stevan’s medical exam. So I let go and told God I’ll just wait for His timing.
Yesterday, I got to talk to a father who is in the process of adopting their second child from Jamaica and he gave me some amazing advice of things that I can do to help speed up the end process. He also told me that the adoption board isn’t meeting in August because it is a big holiday month and they won’t have it. I felt let down, that means we will have to wait until September. This father told me that the July adoption board is meeting this Saturday. So my mind started spinning, what if Stevan’s medical came this week, would there be a small chance that our case could get slipped in? Because I was also told that after the adoption board approval, it could only be several weeks until he could be ready to come home. Then my HEART stopped, what several weeks? The whole thought freaked me out. I have been praying for August; my mother heart has been loving him and so ready for him to come home, but could it actually happen in a few weeks? I’M NOT READY!!! How could I think that? The best for him is to come home now, but what if I’m not emotionally and mentally ready? What if God’s timing is to wait a few more months because HE knew that I needed more time to prepare for this life changing event.
So my heart has been rocked today as I wrestle with the possibility of a miracle from God, but also telling God, I think you might be right, I’m not sure I’m ready yet. My conclusion as of now is that this is another step in my faith journey of trusting God that HE knows best and His Timing is always PERFECT. So if it is next month or October, I know that there is no way I can do this adoption without His strength, guidance and peace. He will make me ready for what Stevan needs from me when he comes home. I’m learning how HARD adoption is mentally, emotionally and spiritually, and I haven’t even brought him home yet. But I’m BELIEVING with 100% faith that this will be one of the best things that I will experience in my life. It’s all in God’s TIMING!!
Published by Lisa Plett
