Happy Wednesday to everyone! I didn’t sleep good last night and was still awake way too early this morning. I had told Bryson yesterday that today was cleaning and laundry day. I did the laundry and Bryson swept MO.
Yesterday I met at the agency in North Phoenix who is helping me with the applications for Bryson’s disability benefits. I gathered so much helpful information and understanding on the entire process. But it left me very overwhelmed. There is a lot that I have had to process but I’m not ready to type it all out here now. They confirmed that he should not have a problem qualifying but they don’t make the process easy. I have had many battles in the past with the school system and doctors so I know how to fight but man I’m tired and the thought that I have another battle ahead seems exhausting. Thankfully, Brad is my level headed husband with wisdom and reminded me this morning, that I can’t focus on the what ifs and what might be ahead but be in the moment and do what I can do right this minute. If you remember from a previous post this is something I need reminded of a lot and I’m a slow learner.
I have had numerous events in my life that has caused me to have PTSD and I can be triggered by events. This process of getting Bryson benefits and funding has taken me back to the 2 year adoption process of getting Stevan home from Jamaica. It was out of my control and in the hands of a government. Those were some tough years for me mentally, emotionally and spiritually and I want to learn from that experience and not go down those same paths but… to be honest the thoughts pop up more often than I would like. I know Jesus is walking each step of the way with Bryson and I and I’m working on surrendering control to him. I am actually reading a book right now called “the cost of Control – why we crave it, the anxiety it gives us, and the REAL POWER GOD PROMISES” by Sharon Hodde Miller. It has many great insights I’m trying to put into practice.
OK so now on to lighter stuff… Bryson and I drove to the town 10 minutes from us and I did not use my GPS and I navigated around the town. Town isn’t big but it is hilly, curvy and as most of you know I’m directionally challenged. Here are some pictures from our drive and when we stopped at a local cafe for a smoothie and went on a walk.
Appreciate your continued prayers as I work though this application process and for my emotional wellbeing during this time.
Till later
