I have only been on a roller coaster one time in my life, when I was very young. It wasn’t a very good experience. My stomach tossed and turned and I “threw up” all of my lunch. I decided then that roller coasters were not for me.
I have been on a lot of emotional roller coasters over the last 14 years and yesterday was one of those days again. I keep hoping that I am stronger in the truth to not get on one of them but…..
On Wednesday, I took Bryson to see his Endocrinologist for his three month Diabetes checkup and even though he had been having a lot of lows in the past month the doctor was very happy with his A1C and his overall health. She changed some of his basal rates on his insulin pump and I drove home thanking God that everything was looking really good and stable and even his seizures have been controlled since February.
I got a call at 12:48 p.m. yesterday from the school nurse, she told me that Bryson had experienced the weird sensation in his right side and had kind of fallen into his chair. He was in her office and was OK but very tired. My mind started rolling all different directions, “no not seizures again” “I just thanked you God that everything was good” “I can’t deal with this” “it’s not fair”. All those thoughts tumbled around in my brain and settled in my heart.
This sensation is what Bryson feels before a seizure comes on, called an aura. The only way we know if it is a seizure or just an aura is how he responds after the episode. All evidence says it was a seizure. Bryson was very tired and spaced out and his blood sugar skyrocketed and he got large Ketones (a condition that left untreated can lead to a life threatening emergency). So after realizing this was going on and having just gotten my stitches out of my hand from carpal tunnel surgery a week prior, my emotions were in a full whirlwind, flying around curves and plummeting downward and upside down. I “threw up” in my brain.
I send out a text to a few close friends for prayer and I believe God answered with urgency. My emotions started landing on solid truth and I was able to process. Bryson’s blood sugar and ketones came back to normal faster then usual. My mind has been processing all of the events from yesterday and I realize how fast I can let my emotions control every aspect of my life. I am so thankful for faithful friends and for a loving God who hears and restores the peace I so needed.
Now we just have to wait to see if this seizure was just a “one time” episode or if we are back on the seizure train. I am trying really hard to focus on God’s word that He has it all in control and to just stay on the firm foundation of His Word and not get on another emotional roller coaster ride.
